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Thursday, August 30, 2007

God bless you Amber...

... and good riddance!

That poor girl is fooling herself into thinking everyone voted her out because they didn't want to be sitting beside her in the final 2... when the truth is she just got too damn annoying. ENUF with the tears! I love the "going to try not to cry"... and she gets tearful WHILST she is saying it!

Now, as for weigh-in tonight... I was UP... geez, I guess I was asking for it. I was up 1lb... so, could be worse.

It's time to start being honest with myself and everyone. I looked at my booklet and I am up EIGHTEEN POUNDS just since December. This is nuts... and I can't blame it on my pills anymore. It's time to start being honest... no more binges and not bothering to count them... I have to go back to counting everything I put in my mouth Fri-Sun (because I haven't been since Michele's wedding)... if Alex leaves and goes home late on a Friday, no more bingeing on the stashes of food I always have hidden. I always have (or almost always do) candy or chocolate or baked goods i've made for someone else just lying around... and I eat them like there's no tomorrow after he leaves. I keep that up on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays... and then just work hard Mon-Thurs... I can't do that. My leader once asked us "How many days of the week are you OP?"... back then I thought that was nuts... you have to be on it for 7 days a week if you want it to work... but then, in the first year I had lost so much weight I started slacking... I can't do that any longer. I'm sticking to OP and sticking to the menu plans on (I'm finding that site VERY helpful) and sticking with making sure I don't go over 1500 calories a day (thanks to I can keep track of my total calories on top of my points consumed).

So, that's the story... I figured it's not only time to be honest with myself about what I'm doing wrong... it's time to be honest with those few of you who are closest to me and read this blog. I'm slowly reverting back to old habits that caused me to gain this weight in the beginning... and I can't keep letting that happen. I'm on WW and i'm almost 20lbs heavier than i was 6 months ago?? that's not right. I'm paying MONEY to gain 20lbs? not right again.

so, that's my story...

1 comment:

Tara said...

Jen, you are SO right...I too have been having issues lately. I've lost and gained the same few pounds since January...super frustrating!!
I made the stupid mistake of buying 6 boxes of crackers because they were on sale and I LOVE crackers! AND they do not love me. I do well all day and then go home and eat dinner, dessert, crackers, and sometimes the list goes on. And then there's the weekend where I feel entitled to have some drinks and pizza. I need to be honest with myself if I ever want to get to my goal. The plan was to be there by your birthday (which is that wedding i'm going to) but at this rate, it's not going to happen:(
Anyway, sorry for rambling on but your post made me think about how much I'm lying to myself and if I'd just get my ass in gear, I could be there already!
SO consider this our big kick in the ass! Running and OP days, here we come :)