Dear Tara. I love you! (No Alex, I am not gay)

Thank you so much for your post! I'm glad I'm not the only one with issues (not that I really thought I was... but it's nice to know we can relate to each other and support each other!).

I was thinking today on the way home from work... I want to still be able to ENJOY food (and not eat boring low point stuff ALL the time)... but THEN I got to thinking... if I just don't eat as much of everything... maybe I will learn to enjoy those little bits even more! Does that make any sense? It does in my own head!

I did so well today... and I remembered doing well is a much better feeling than giving in to my weaknesses... I'd rather say NO to a piece of pie or cake and feel proud for a long time later... rather than say YES, eat the cake, enjoy it in the moment I'm tasting it... but then feel guilt-ridden for the hours following that.

So, today I would normally eat more and not count the points (confessions of a foodie here!)... and just figure I could pretend I'm using the flex points I didn't actually use the week before (yes, this is the logic that clouds my foggy brain). Today I ate as if I were weighing in tomorrow (that is the day I try the hardest)...

here's what I've had:

Breakfast - 2 pieces weight watchers WW toast (1), 2 slices Kraft FF cheese slices (1 - yep, you can actually have 2 slices for 1 point... just barely, but it is 1pt!)

Lunch - 1/2 ww pita (1), stuffed with: 1/4c chick peas(1), cucumber and tomato (0), 1 tbsp light feta (0), 2 tbsp Kraft FF ceasar salad dressing (1). Followed by a source yogurt, strawberry flavour (1).

Snack - granola bar, smores kind (2), SF red bull (0)

My BIG accomplishment of the day? It was some one's last day at the office at work today and we had this AMAZING chocolate cake... with millions of layers of custard and pudding and cake and stuff... and i said NO! I didn't even have a sliver of it... and I feel so good about it now!! and feeling proud at the time for not having any far surpassed the guilt i would feel for trying it... the kicker? I'm the one who BOUGHT the damn thing... I'm the one who picked out what i thought looked like the yummiest cake... and i still said NO. it's awesome.

Alex is working late... real estate closings are keeping him at work (or so he says!! haha!)... so my next challenge will be to NOT snack before he gets here... because (and here comes this blogs confession of a foodie #2) normally i snack and snack some more before he gets here and before we even go out to dinner... and somehow I pretend I didn't eat anything before he comes... today, I'm not going to do that. and because I'm already telling myself I'm not going to do it... i don't feel hungry!

I did make a discovery at A&P on the way home... I stopped to get egg beaters and stumbled across kozy shack. i have had the kozy shack sugar free tapioca before (it's only 1pt)... but now I see they have sugar free apple pie a la mode pudding AND black Forest cake pudding... only 1 pt each again! so, I did treat myself to those. whether or not I have one before we go to dinner i haven't decided... depends on if i get hungry I suppose... I'm not going to NOT allow myself to have something (after all, I don't want to starve and then eat too much at dinner)... but I'm not going to plan on having something.

Okay, time to go take out the garbage and wash the floors and keep busy until Alex comes home!

Tara - please feel free to comment as LONG as you want... you're the only one who reads this thing i think anyway (unless Alex thinks of it) and you're definitely the only one who comments anymore!!! LOVE YA!!!

UPDATE to add - It's now 6:33pm. Alex is on his way. I did NOT snack! I'm feeling so great about this... and honestly proud of myself. I recommend everyone say NO to their temptations (or vices... whatever you want to call them) and feel this proud feeling I am having! Mopping the floors really did keep my mind off food and I didn't feel hungry. QUESTION though. Does mop water ever appear clean? I've mopped the floor FIVE times this week and the water still looks dirty! Are my floors that dirty? Do I need to do something different? Or does mop water always look dirty? (It's not the mop, this one was new last weekend!).

Happy Friday everyone - do yourselves a favour and do something to make yourself feel proud. To quote the biggest loser theme "what have you done today to make you feel proud?".

God bless you Amber...

... and good riddance!

That poor girl is fooling herself into thinking everyone voted her out because they didn't want to be sitting beside her in the final 2... when the truth is she just got too damn annoying. ENUF with the tears! I love the "going to try not to cry"... and she gets tearful WHILST she is saying it!

Now, as for weigh-in tonight... I was UP... geez, I guess I was asking for it. I was up 1lb... so, could be worse.

It's time to start being honest with myself and everyone. I looked at my booklet and I am up EIGHTEEN POUNDS just since December. This is nuts... and I can't blame it on my pills anymore. It's time to start being honest... no more binges and not bothering to count them... I have to go back to counting everything I put in my mouth Fri-Sun (because I haven't been since Michele's wedding)... if Alex leaves and goes home late on a Friday, no more bingeing on the stashes of food I always have hidden. I always have (or almost always do) candy or chocolate or baked goods i've made for someone else just lying around... and I eat them like there's no tomorrow after he leaves. I keep that up on Saturdays and sometimes Sundays... and then just work hard Mon-Thurs... I can't do that. My leader once asked us "How many days of the week are you OP?"... back then I thought that was nuts... you have to be on it for 7 days a week if you want it to work... but then, in the first year I had lost so much weight I started slacking... I can't do that any longer. I'm sticking to OP and sticking to the menu plans on kraftfoods.com (I'm finding that site VERY helpful) and sticking with making sure I don't go over 1500 calories a day (thanks to fitday.com I can keep track of my total calories on top of my points consumed).

So, that's the story... I figured it's not only time to be honest with myself about what I'm doing wrong... it's time to be honest with those few of you who are closest to me and read this blog. I'm slowly reverting back to old habits that caused me to gain this weight in the beginning... and I can't keep letting that happen. I'm on WW and i'm almost 20lbs heavier than i was 6 months ago?? that's not right. I'm paying MONEY to gain 20lbs? not right again.

so, that's my story...

Call me Marvin

... 'cause I'm Starvin today!

Well, today is T-day.

It's also the day I have to do fasting bloodworks... so I don't know when I'll get to doing that... but I'm not eating this morning and then will likely try to go on lunch to do my bloodwork... and depending on what time I get to take my lunch it may be too late for me to feel I can eat a lunch before weigh-in!

So, since I'm not having a breakfast this morning and haven't bothered packing a lunch (I also forgot my lunch bag at the office yesterday! DUH!)... I have time this morning to do an entry... but it's a quick one because I have nothing to report!

I found this site with all these blinkie things last night, so I've gone a little crazy adding them.. sorry if they're annoying. This phase WILL pass!

So, I don't know what weigh-in will be like today. If I'm lucky, I'll at least be the same. I've honestly only kicked my butt in gear since Monday to get back OP... I ate too much on the weekend.

BUT, the good news is, I have my groove back now... so even if I'm up this week I'm BACK in the ZONE and following my meal plans and not snacking extra... AND this weekend I get back on the treadmill!!!

I don't know if I'll be working at SickKids yet this weekend... the money would be GREAT, but the long weekend off wouldn't be bad either.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY! YAY! Alex and I are going to dinner and going to see the movie "super bad". Then he's busy on Saturday with family coming in to town to visit.

Last night's dinner ended up being REALLY good! I thawed a chicken breast and then cooked it in the frying pan (the one from TARA!) with some chicken broth (I'm sure you could use tofu instead though)... then added some fresh green and red peppers and some red onion... some frozen broccoli and peas... some more chicken broth... and some frank's hot sauce for a kick. It was so good!!! The only points consumed were the chicken broth and the chicken breast! So I had a jello sugar free pudding for dessert... and as a snack later I had a bowl of raisin bran cereal (my milk expired yesterday, i HAD to finish it!).

Happy Thursday everyone! You'll hear my results tomorrow from how tonight goes (although i'm not terribly optimistic... and that's okay! I now know what I NEED to do and I know I can't use my prescription as an excuse!).

Just another hump day..

Well, I tried the melatonin again last night… took less of it. It didn’t make me feel sleepy, just helped me fall asleep once I got myself to bed I think. I still had a hard time waking up this morning. I think everyone is right… I just need to get back into a routine with my sleep patterns and then the treadmill will come. So, next week while the children go back to school, I go back to the treadmill. I have to. I enjoy it once I’m on it… it’s just getting up that’s hard right now. Oh well, now that I know my prescription shouldn’t be hindering my weight loss I will just have to try harder.

I got to work today and the phones are down… yay! I’m sure they will be back up soon, but until then… I will enjoy not having work to do.

Can I express a pet peeve quickly? People being sick. I know we ALL get sick… but I hate people who just seem to LOVE being sick and are constantly doing their little moaning and groaning and wanting attention… look, if you’re going to be annoying like that, just STAY HOME! Either just admit you’re sick and suck it up because you came to work… or stay home. (Can you tell there is a sick person in this little intake office with me today? I’m not sure if she’s waiting for us to TELL her to just go home or what, but you’re grown up, you can make that decision on your own!).

So…. I’m still following my menu ideas from the Kraft foods website… Tara, you’re right – the lunch yesterday was so friggin good! I will definitely have that lunch again!! I’ve learned I LOVE red onion and will keep it in now to be able to add to things every day!!!

Today’s menu?

Breakfast – 2 pcs WW toast (1), 2 tsp light PB (1)

Lunch - 1 tin Ocean’s yellow fin tuna (2), red onion (0), shredded carrots (0), cucumber (0), tomato (0), 1 tbsp FF miracle whip (0), 1 tbsp FF ranch drsg (1), black pepper (0), and 1 pc of Rye bread (1). Also, 1 container strawberry source yogurt (1).

Snack – ½ whole wheat pita (1) with a mixture of lettuce, shredded carrot, red pepper and red onion (0), with 1 tbsp light silano feta cheese (0), and balsamic salad spritzer (0)

Dinner – unsure yet!!! I think maybe a chicken stir fry – Some chicken breast, red and green peppers, and red onion. Sure, that sounds good. Maybe I’ll just cook it in some chicken broth. It would be great if I had mushrooms… maybe I will just stop at sobey’s after work and get some.

Well, it’s 10:15 and still no phones… I expect they’ll be back any time and we will be back to working hard!

Okay, the phones came back on at 12pm… just in time for my appointment. Lucky me! So now it’s back to working hard… except they can’t count us as having not taken a lunch, so in 15min I’m going to still head out for an hour!!! Haha!!! Damn big brother!!

Let's review

A few of my favourite things... just for fun

The good, the bad... and the lazy

Well, shall I start with the bad news? I didn’t get on the treadmill this morning.

The good news? I took melatonin last night around 9pm and by 10:30 I was out like a light and slept through until this morning at 7am. My alarm went off at 5:30 and I just couldn’t get up. I’ve heard melatonin isn’t supposed to leave you groggy in the morning. Once I finally got up I didn’t feel groggy… it was just a matter of getting up! I think it could be 1 of 2 things. Either I took more melatonin than I needed to OR I was just still making up for only getting 2 hours of sleep the night before. Who knows. I will take less tonight and see what happens!

What am I eating today?

Breakfast – 1 cup raisin bran (2), ½ cup skim milk (1), 2 pieces weight watchers bread (1), 2 tsp light PB (1)

Lunch – 2 weight watcher wraps (2), with a cool mixture recipe I got from kraftfoods.com – lettuce, red pepper, red onion, cheddar cheese, shredded carrots (I added the carrots) (2pts for the cheese), and I added some FF Italian dressing to the mix… which is where my day turned ugly. You know the Kraft Italian dressing and how it has a top with just a hole in the center? I took the cap off my dressing and went to squirt the dressing into the salad mixture thingy… little did I know the top had come off in the cap of the dressing and I poured on TOOOOO much dressing! I tried to get most of it out, but otherwise I figure it will just marinate throughout the day and I’ll use a fork to strain out the excess dressing as I put the salad on the wrap.

Lunch is also consisting of a vanilla source yogurt (1)

Snack – banana (2) and cheesestring (1)

Dinner – tuna (2) with some red onion and tomato (0), 1 tbsp FF ranch drsg (0), 1 tbsp FF miracle whip (0), with 2 slices rye bread (2), and 30g light cheese (2)

I think I will have a sugar free pudding for dessert... and maybe 100 cal pack of popcorn with BIG BROTHER.

Update - I did go to the doctor and she doesn't feel the prescription is impacting my weight loss at all and basically told me just to stick with it and it will pay off again... okay lady! I'll try!

Another day... almost another dollar

My intentions for today could not have been more wrong.

Let's start with my inability to fall asleep last night. I was so desperate to sleep that finally around 3:30am I drank warm milk (eew, right? This wasn't bad - I put splenda and cinamon in it). FINALLY I think I fell asleep around 4am. THEN my alarm went off at 5:30 for the treadmill. guess what. DIDN'T HAPPEN!! There was no way I was going to jog after less than 2 hrs of sleep. I slept until 7 and got ready for work. At work my intentions were to do a blog entry that I could just post once I got home. DIDN'T HAPPEN!! Work was too flippin busy! TWO suicidal kids in one day makes for one hell of an afternoon. The one poor boy has such high anxiety about going back to school that he had a rope aside to hang himself with... but he got scared and told his dad and together they burned the rope (luckily). but I still spent forever on the phone with him coming up with a safety plan, THEN talking to his mom to tell her how I'd like her to keep an eye on him.

I took about 30min away from my desk today to run out to Shoppers and buy melatonin. I'm so desperate to get to sleep at a desperate hour that I decided to try it. I've taken it already and I do feel tired, but that could be because i AM tired!!

THEN when I was driving home my intentions were to go on the treadmill this evening. DIDN'T HAPPEN. I was still so tired this evening that I fell fast asleep on the couch. By the time I woke up I felt like crap and haven't done anything since. I have come to recognize this day is a write-off for me given my horrible sleep last night.

ALSO when I got home there was a teacher I used to have at Humber, who helped me get hired there (but that didn't work out due to me taking the new full time job at intake). She has since left Humber and has started organizing training sessions for different agencies and she's bitten off more than she can chew and has asked me to start helping out! So I'll be running a parenting group at Hinks-Dellcrest downtown for 6 weeks starting late September likely (the details aren't ironed out yet)... so that's exciting! I was hoping to tell Alex before I post this... but I can't get that boy to answer his phone (and I hate leaving messages... he doesn't listen to them anyway! HAHA - BUSTED Mathews!).

I did really well with my eating today.

Breakfast - WW bagel with 1 tbsp light PB (4)
Lunch - broccoli and tomatoes with feta cheese and italian dressing (2), cherry source yogurt (1), all bran bar (2)
Snack - peach (1), cheesestring (1)
Dinner - 2 veggie burger patties (4), WW english muffin (1), cheese slice (1), No Sugar Added pudding (1), 2 peek frean lifestyle shortbread cookies (2)

I think I've eaten something else, but I forget what at this point!

Hopefully tomorrow more people will show up to work and will actually DO work and I'll get time to NOT do work and work on my blog!

Tomorrow is my doctor's appt after work... wish me luck... I'm going to discuss my options with the weight loss given I haven't lost in the past YEAR!!!

Happy Manic Monday.

Big Brother!

I'm actually NOT referring to the TV show. I'm referring to work. There are a million and one internet restrictions in the office now... ones that really suck and are keeping me from facebook and msn... but the stupidest part is they're keeping me from blogging. i managed to keep up with my blogging recently from work... i'd keep the page open and in between calls i would keep working on a post!

well... those government copy cats aren't going to keep me down that easily! i have devised a new plan of attack. i will work on blog entries while at work and save them... then just come home and copy and paste it (i'll save it in a word document) into a new entry... ta da! that's right folks, i'm not just a pretty face after all!

so, after a week off and a week back at work but not bothering to track what i eat or go to weigh in... it's back to being a WW drill sargeant... i ate wayyyyyy too many flex points this weekend... but i did get on the treadmill tonight and only used a couple of flex points today (most of my flex were used due to being lazy yesterday and snacking all day).

so tomorrow (and from here on out) it's back to following kraftfoods.com menus (somewhat - i get ideas from there) and counting points... and back to the treadmill... and i'm aiming for at LEAST 5 days a week now.

tonight the treadmill sucked. shin splints again, but iced them right away and they're okay. i've realized i'm coming out of the gate too fast... i'm wanting to run fast right away in hopes up keeping up the pace. so, i'm going to take it easy... jog slow... get back into jogging routine and shape... and GRADUALLY increase my speed.... and NOT get down on myself for jogging too slow at this point. hey, as long as i get my heart rate up... it's okay i'm not going as fast as i'd like just yet.

also, my doctor's appointment is tuesday and i'll talk to her then about this issue with the lag in weight loss... i think my motivation is finally suffering after a whole YEAR of paying for weight watchers and not losing any weight.

time to try to get some sleep. my alarm is going off at 5:30 now rather than 6 in hopes of being able to spend more time on the treadmill in the mornings.

please wish me luck.

maybe i should pull an amber and start talking to god... i'm sure that will help.

god, if this is your plan for me - i accept it
i trust you god
god, i love you
please, god... help me to lose weight
god, i need to get to my goal weight
god, i love you
i don't understand your weight plan for me god
but, i am your mere follower and servant god, and i will do whatever you tell me
for, i have drank the kool aid.

i love you god, god bless you.


yes, perhaps making fun of amber (from big brother) is a little sacrilegious... but it's too damn funny!!!

goodnight, and god bless!

Case of the Mondays coupled with exhaustion

I don't know whether i'm coming or going these days.

the only thing consistent with my summer is there has been absolutely no consistency! i feel like i'm living out of my suitcase! now... don't feel bad for me... these are my own choices i've been making... sometimes it just catches up to me that i haven't slept in the same bed for more than a week all summer!

at least i've really just been going back and forth between my parents' house and here... i was in pontypool for a week in july, then back here for a few days, then back there for a few days... then back here for almost a week... then back there for a few days for simon's party... then back here... then back there for a few days for grandma's birthday... stayed there for half a week so mom and dad could to go michigan together... then back here for a week.. then back there for 5 days so mom and dad could go out east... now i'm back for a couple of days but i'm choosing to go to pontypool again for a few days while simon is there...

while i am happy to help out my parents... and they are very grateful for me helping out at home... and while i can't get enough of my nephew... part of me will enjoy when the fall comes back around and i am back to routine and stability... it will just be harder to get to see simon... although michele informs me she is taking up the offer for myself and uncle alex to babysit so her and jacob can go out for their anniversary... and i think she's even looking forward to it!

so i've been following meal plans somewhat from kraftfoods.com, it's just hard this week because i didn't bother to get in a lot of groceries when i know i'll be going to pontypool again for a few days... but after this weekend i have no plans for long term visits anywhere... and i will definitely get in all the groceries necessary to start following the meal plans... but i have been using the meal ideas from there this week!

i've been keeping track of my calories on fitday.com and watching my calories eaten vs calories burned... that's helping.

and today while surfing the net at work (the limited internet we are left to be able to surf anymore) i came across another website... http://www.thedailyplate.com/ it's another site you can keep track of your foods eaten... now, i prefer fitday.com and find it more user friendly, BUT dailyplate.com has a bigger food database... so foods i can't find on fitday.com i looked for on dailyplate and added them in fitday!

i'm tired... i need my bed...

goodnight!!!

Hanging in...

Well, i've been following my meals plans (with slight alterations depending on what ingredients i have in the house) from kraftfoods.com .... i'm sticking to 1500 calories a day or under... so far i'm feeling great!!

today's menu?

breakfast - 1 pc rye bread with 1 tbsp light PB, 1/2 cup all bran guardian, 1 container source yogurt (total points = 4 since 1/2 cup guardian is JUSt 0 points)

lunch - 2 ww wraps with a tuna salad. you HAVE to try this tuna salad... 1 container of tuna, 1/2 medium tomato chopped, cucumber chopped, and 3 tbsp FF ranch dressing... it was GOOD!!! cherries for dessert

snack - 1 cup cherries

dinner - salad that was supposed to have chicken breast and parmesan cheese but i have altered it to have a veggie wiener and feta cheese... and a 'no sugar added' pudding (butterscotch)

snack tonight - ww bagel with cream cheese

work is really getting the way of me posting more at this point... damn work!!!

happy tuesday everyone.

A new discovery

okay, maybe i'm utilizing too many tools at this point... but i've discovered a new one! if you sign up at http://www.kraftfoods.com (which is the american site... i already belong to kraftcanada.com too). you can do a survey and they will come up with a customized meal plan and activity plan for you week by week... they supply the recipes and a grocery list for you... and if you don't like a meal they'll give you alternative meal/recipe ideas with similar nutritional values.

i'm just so desperate to lose the rest of my weight right now... i ate way too much this weekend... likely because i'm feeling down over really not losing weight in the past year. sadly, i weigh more now than i did a year ago (don't even get me started on all the money i've wasted paying for WW for a year and not having results to show for it).

i'm back on track today... eating better... stayed under 1500 calories... ran and jogged and walked... tomorrow will be the same. i just have to go out with alex tomorrow... but the great thing about him is if he's here he lets me get on the treadmill and doesn't mind me running right beside him and looking all sweaty and gross... he is totally supportive of whatever i need to do.

tomorrow evening i leave for pontypool for the week and commute from there to work... mom and dad are going out east for the week and driving around... so i'm going home to keep kristen company. it's too much to stay up in that secluded house by herself for a week... so i'm happy to go there and stay with her if it helps keep her mind at ease as well as mom and dad's mind at ease so they can enjoy their vacation. my plan of attack at home is to use the elliptical of kristen's and maybe even the gazelle for a different workout. i could try jogging but it gets so hot and so lonely out in the woods and i start to freak myself out that i'll run into a fox or wolf or BEAR (yes, we do have bear in our forrest)... so the air conditioned house where the elliptical is will be good for me!

sorry if i'm complaining... i've just spent way too much time this weekend trying to figure out what i can do to lose weight AND stay on the pill... something i'm still going to talk to my doctor about. realistically i could get to my goal weight by christmas if i lose weight at the rate i was before i started the pill... so maybe i could go off it until the new year and then go back on it once i'm at goal... who the hell knows. alex doesn't want to see me mess with my hormones or body that way... but will support any decision i make. i'll just wait to talk to dr. trambitas before i make a decision. thank god i finally.. FINALLY found a doctor i like and who is friendly and who i feel i can talk to! she's great... and i'm lucky i got in with her when i did... she opened her practice and within 2 weeks wasn't accepting any patients anymore!

tonight's dinner was actually pretty good... i had a ww bagel and toasted it... took a tin of ocean's yellow fin tuna and added 1 tbsp ff miracle whip to it (and some black pepper)... divided it in half and put that on each half of the bagel and topped it up with a kraft fat free cheese slice then put it under the broiler for a couple of minutes. it was pretty good!

i have no idea what i'll eat tomorrow. wish me luck though!

I need help

I have to stop eating. This is nuts.

mmm... nuts. mmmm... chocolate covered nuts.


PS - I hate PMS.


Update: I jogged on the treadmill for 35 minutes. My plan is to speed walk for an hour at 5pm, eat tuna melts on WW bagel for dinner... then jog for another 35 minutes around 7:30ish.

Now that I have typed it I will pressure myself to follow through.

Wish me luck.

Another adventurous Friday night with Jenny and Binu

Okay, if you haven't heard of "Toopy and Binoo" you may not find that title as cute as i do.

Last night we had our big Friday night out. We went to Gretzky's for dinner (I had the thai chicken pizza... really good! and thank god for a few flex points!!). After that we went to the game... jays won (I think the score was 6-4). after the game ended alex asked me if i had to go to the washroom before we left.. i told him i didn't... so we walked out and tried to remember where we were parked exactly in the maze that is the underground parking at the metro convention centre. we couldn't have been more confused... if we had white hair people would have been taking pity on us and helping us, i'm sure. we had been walking for about 5 minutes when i realized i had to go to the bathroom... but i decided to just try and wait until we got home... since i had told alex only a few minutes prior that i didn't need to go. after we had walked around the roger's centre and through the cn tower i finally had to breakdown and tell him... so we found our way to front street and ended up going into the intercontinental hotel right at the convention centre. it was gorgeous. after we found the lobby washrooms and i finally got some relief alex asked if i wanted to go have a drink in the restaurant/bar there... of course i didn't decline! it was so nice and dimly lit and relaxing there... with big comfy leather chairs... so we sat at a quiet table away from others (a nice change from gretzky's and the jays game) and i ordered a cosmopolitan for the first time in my life... so my drink and his beer came and we enjoyed them... until the bill came. holy crap. my drink was $15. after we paid for drinks and left a tip... the total for 2 flipping drinks was $30!!!! but it was a really nice place and a nice way to cap off an evening.

if you'd like to see the place it's http://www.azurerestaurant.ca/ i believe.

today i managed to catch up on my sleep and do some cleaning, have a nap... and here we are. i think i'll try a 1hr fast walk on an incline later... because i found it quite challenging the other day. i'm having a quiet evening to myself and with my tv... so i'll go on this evening once it (hopefully) cools down a little in here.

i don't have many groceries in because i'll be spending the week in pontypool... but i would like to run out and buy some sour cream and vegetables so i can have my veggies and dip for dinner. otherwise, i'll scrounge around here to find something to eat with it.

so far today i've had 2 WW english muffins (2) with 2 FF cheese slices (1), 1 peach (1), 1 100 cal popcorn (1), smart ones frozen dinner sante fe rice (6), chips ahoy 100 calorie pack (2)

happy long weekend everyone!!

All that hard work...

and I was only down 0.8lbs. This is NUTS. I know, I know... at least it was down.

I'm starting to think when I started the new BC pill prescription last summer that is REALLY hindered my weight loss... because it was exactly when I started the prescription that my loss has dramatically slowed down. I can maintain, just not lose. I'm starting to wonder if i should come off the pill until i reach my goal weight. I suppose that's something to discuss with my doctor and alex as well... just to hear their input.

my mood is crappy today because it's too bloody hot in my apartment. i can't sleep at night!! BUT at least i get to go out with alex tonight for a fun night. that is what is getting me through the day. i know it's the friday of a long weekend and that should be exciting (AND i'm leaving work early)... but i am hoping to work at sickkids tomorrow and monday (although they haven't called yet. last long weekend i wanted to work they didn't call me until like 10am on the saturday to work that day at 3:30!).

I think dinner tonight will be the thai chicken pizza... I already looked at the menu on the website and have planned my points (basically, starving myself all day so i can eat some pizza!).

breakfast - yogurt and muesli
lunch - ww bagel and a cheese slice, peach

dinner - indulge!

i'm listening to another girl do an intake with a mom right now... let's just say, if i were the parent she was speaking to i would NOT be enjoying this conversation. some intake workers just aren't as happy/smiley/pleasant as others... BUT then again there are a million parents i speak to who aren't very chipper like me when i speak to them.... maybe the parents find me offensive and fake! too bad for them!! haha!

happy long weekend everyone!!!

T-Day

it's thurday... the day of truth... this is really my first week being back at it hardcore since vacation... i just HOPE i can pull off a loss! i have been so careful to write down everything i eat this week and also enter it in fitday.com... i've reached my goal of getting on the treadmill 4 times... we will see how it all pans out.

I managed to still get on the treadmill for a jog yesterday morning... so i went on it monday night, tuesday morning, tuesday night, and wednesday morning. my plan was to go on last night, but i was too tired. and thursdays are my day off.

my big chore of the day on thursdays (besides working, of course!) is planning what to have for dinner... at the moment i would like an entire foot-long sub AND perogies from swiss chalet (i LOVE their perogies, i don't know why exactly!).

that's about all the updates from here... tonight is big brother night (i think kail might finally go home). and then i countdown til hell's kitchen on monday! TARA - i agree with your idea actually, i think we will be seeing rock win... and i think that's the reason jen went home!

I'm HUNGRY! but it's only 3.5 hours until weigh in so i REFUSE to eat this late. maybe i'll go shopping... i could stand to get away from my desk!

Wish me LUCK everyone... PLEASE! i'm sick of gaining!! (last week i didnt' gain, i stayed the frickin same).

happy day-before-friday!

Friday alex and i are going to dinner at wayne gretzky's then going to the jay's game... should be fun!